Grace / breathing exercise

A 'Breathmeeting' in a shop in Chicago

Grace, a young woman who works in the shop, has four different part-time jobs. She struggles with a busy mind, has trouble focusing, sleeps poorly, and experiences pain in her shoulders and neck. “Are there breathing techniques for that?” she asks me.

If I had more time, I’d love to do breathing exercises for all of the above with her. But I don’t have that much time—and neither does she, since someone could walk into the store at any moment. For now, I’m still the only customer.

This is a very spontaneous ‘breathmeeting’😃, simply because we started talking. I asked her advice about which earrings I should buy. And we talked a bit more. We were both curious about each other. She wondered where I’m from and what I do, and I was curious what it’s like for her to live in Chicago these days.

Back to the breathing😊: I am curious hów she breathes—and whether it’s functional. I suspect it isn’t, given her shoulder and neck pain. And indeed: her breath is high, mostly in her chest, shoulders, and throat area. Breathing there can cause tension, since those areas aren’t made for breathing. ‘Breathe low’ is one of the mantras I’ve learned. So, we practice belly and diaphragm breathing.

Then there’s still time for an exercise that immediately creates a sense of calm. I’ll add the exercise at the end of this story (after the picture of Grace & me) so you can try it yourself.

We start with a ‘state scan’: what are you experiencing right now, in thoughts… emotions…. physical sensations? Which of these three is most present? How is the breathing, and how is the heartbeat? After this state scan we do the breathing exercise, followed by another state scan to compare before and after. After the second state scan she says with her eyes closed: “my head was full of thoughts and is empty now. I feel light, only light”. Reactions like this always make me feel véry happy. The power of breath is só fascinating.

“You can open your eyes now” I say after a while. “Actually, I want to keep them closed and stay in this feeling,” she replies. Then a customer walks in, and she has to open her eyes. There’s no time for more. We say goodbye with a hug, and she walks me to the door.

I’m about to step outside when she suddenly says: “this morning I wasn’t feeling well and I wished that someone would come into the shop to lighten my day,… and there you were. You lightened my day. Thank you, thank you so much”.

What she says—and the way she says it—touches me deeply. I feel my eyes start to water. She notices, and the same happens to her. “Can I give you another hug?” she asks. I just manage to say, “Sure.”

This makes me think about how a conversation with a stranger can make a difference—for the other person and for yourself. It can make the world a little more colourful. What happened this day certainly made the day much more colourful for both Grace and me❤️

The breathing exercise we did to create a sense of calm:

Take a full, deep breath in through your nose—start down in your belly, then let the breath rise up into your chest, and finally into your throat. Hold it there for 3 to 5 seconds… and then just let it drop out through your mouth and relax your shoulders. Don’t control the exhale—let it fall out, almost like a ‘plop’. Release it fully until the exhale naturally comes to an end. Then wait.

At some point your body will give you a signal: breathe. That’s what we call the ‘breathing impulse’. When you feel that, simply take a calm inhale through your nose and return to your normal breathing rhythm.

You can do this exercise a second time and exaggerate everything: a deeper inhale, hold your breath for 1 or 2 seconds longer, exhale with sound.

If you have any questions, let me know!

A new story in 2 weeks😊